How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
