forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
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