He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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