New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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