look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
