dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
