Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
