No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
