So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
