i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found your dick twin last night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
