I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
