Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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