Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
