Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I need a beard to bite.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
