all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
