is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
