I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just found puke in my bra..
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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