And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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