You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
