the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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