did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
