C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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