He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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