well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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