Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
