yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
