so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
the liver wants what the liver wants
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
