think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
