Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
third nipple confirmed
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
