You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
