Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize