how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
