I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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