Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need a beard to bite.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
