They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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