her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
