i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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