Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
