So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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