i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
