FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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