Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
