Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
