and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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