Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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