I am puke
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
