The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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