You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
