Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
