If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
