I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Randomize
