Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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