Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
