When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Don't make out with my wife yet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
