somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
