Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
