Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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