Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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