Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
