so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my fart just growled at me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize