The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
