matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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