the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
