she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
