i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize