I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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