i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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