who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
