I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
