VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
